God is so good to me!
i am awed by His amazing Love and Grace.
i am just so so so..thankful!

FACING THE GIANTS is really an inspiring and touching movie!
it's really incredible and very very encouraging.
thank you emelia for recommending this movie because i strongly believe it changed my life!
i feel change in myself.

all the sufferings are really a test of my faith.
and when i have passed the test, God will prepare something greater.

Hatred is the lack of love.
Defeat is the lack of hope.
Unbelief is the lack of faith.

It is a lack. Not an absolute absence.
I trust my God that He will guide you in His ways if only you allow Him to, with some faith, hope and love.

I can never be thankful enough.
This is surely going to be my living testimony.

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself.

Galatians 6:2-3

i am so disappointed. why don't you keep your word.

i don't want to talk anymore.

why is today just such a bad day.

just full of sorrows.

if only i can stop thinking about everything and just fall straight to sleep once my head touches the pillow. how nice huh.

i can't believe how stressful it's gonna be when i go j2 next year.

the workload is horrendous. and i just feel so worried if my foundation is even strong enough for me to catch up.

but i am really not playing. i have already tried my best to grasp the syllabus, but it seems to me that i am not trying hard enough?

really dislike this not-trying-hard-enough feeling.

and i realised the burdens of the world are escalating day by day.

the world is not sad, but apparently less happy.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ODELIA!!!!!!!
haha yay! another dwarf's birthday(:

i love this song!! a song that touches my heart each time i sing it.

Deeper in Love

One thing that I desire in my life Lord

To thirst and hunger after You alone

With all my heart and soul

With all my strength and love

To worship as Your glory fills this place

Deeper in love with You

Deeper in love with You

I love You more than anything in life

Deeper in love with You

Deeper in love with You

Oh how I love You Lord

Gratitude.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!

extremely grateful for all your help to make the wall painting a success!!

it's because of you!

your effort made the difference!

i really appreciate it so much!!

finally, i can put my mind off the mural design painting.

really not an easy job. and definitely of heavy responsibility.

it's school property! and it's something i don't want to be messin' around with.

secondly, it got to look good! and i'm proud that it is.

lastly, so many helping hands! meaning i've got to take care of more needs and account for them.

sincerely am i so thankful.
God, thank you for walking with me through this.

HALLELUJAH!

i am just so extremely happy today!!!!!

best day of the week i must say!

no words can express how thankful i am to you God.

You're simply amazing and amuzing!!

thank you for answering all my prayers.

what a breakthrough week.

oh man you just don't know how overjoyed i am!

this means everything to me!

i feel even more encouraged this time to keep enduring and persevering when the going gets tough because really, trust me, your efforts will be honoured.

even if they are not recognised or whatsoever, i know that my God will honour my efforts.

Winning the lost(:

i just bore another fruit today!

haha it's a personal metaphor kind of thing.

i am just thrilled and proud to see you find your purpose, hannqian(:

today, i had lots of feelings. all of which are positive feelings!

this is it!

the storm of my life (yet) has cleared.

now, i see the rainbow!

i am prepared for the next storm.

it's just a matter of my attitude now.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FAIQA!!!
may you have a blessed birthday my dear friend!

i am gonna havve Bible study TEST later!!
and while i was revising through my books, i came across this phrase which i've penned down before, it says, "The heart of the problem is the problem of your heart."
initially, i was like huh? i couldn't catch it.
so i read again and again.
and yes, i saw the light!! hahaha i understood it(:

have been playing the guitar almost daily without fail this week and i'm glad my skills are improving!
now i know why people always say, "If you want something, you must work hard for it."
yeahh i am gonna believe this!
i will bear my fruits of labour!
=)

Hi!

Today i loved alot(:
God, you rock!!

i feel so worned out today.
not because i did lots of stuff, but because i loved!
loving is tiring cause it's unconditional sacrifice.

i'm glad i was able to withstand all the little sufferings to make someone happier.
it's a good start, at least.

went for blood donation today! and it wasn't all that scary since it was my second time.
but i just felt more drained than the first time.
and i think the nurse poked the needle at a different position this time round.
it's bruising up):
hopefully the pain will go away soon.

brought my guitar to school today too and jammed with hq and emelia.
seeing how keen and how much they enjoy playing the guitar made me remember how i first started out in learning to play the guitar.
there was really an inspiring reason behind my craze for the guitar.
truly, with passion, great things do happen(:

hey hq and emelia, sorry if i kinda appear shagged or down?
just having slight issues with my you-know-what-problem.

but i hope everything became better after econs when we started playing the guitar again!
and learning cool songs together.
just to let you know i really tried my very best to be okay alright!

michelle and rachel are like living in their own world now. haha crazy over some anime thing!
and i have seriously no idea what they are talking about.

dinner with jianhui today was good(:
managed to catch up on quite a couple of stuff.
and i got encouraged by all that he said.
one thing that struck me hard was, "You just have to take the first step."
he's the mannnnn!

alright i'm officially getting weak.
and i'm having a bad flu now):
at all times -_-
please pray for me!

DELUSION

Sometimes, I really wonder if I am just a small person in this world or am I someone bigger than I think I am.

Send angels and watch over my family and friends and loved ones, dear Jesus.

today in the bus, i listened to Footprints in the Sand and i started crying like for no reason (?!?!?!)

of course no one saw me! i hid well ;)

but why!! i don't even feel like crying and i don't even want to!

i think the song just really touched my heart at that very moment.

i heard every word of the song so so clearly and perhaps i got too fully-submerged into the whole song that made tears flow so unexpectedly.

then now i think, it's a touch from heaven.

i really need to love more. love more. love more!!!!!!!!

Thank God.

i didn't realise how exhausted i was until midnight came and i have finally completed making the 3D model of a machine and the layout of a route map for project work!

painting, designing, everything!!

DONE.

a total of 26 hours of my life spent on that! can't believe it.

JJ 102 is fighting on!!!

expansion

i have learnt how to fix a ceiling light today!!
my bedroom light blew off a few days ago and i had to use my bedside lamp for work at night.
pretty bad for the eyes.
daddy bought new light bulb today and taught me how to fix it(:
yay in case of similar cases in the future, i will know to fix it myself!

had been busy with PW stuff these couple of days.
haven't been watching online dramas):
perhaps i just haven't found a good show to catch yet.

-----------------------------------------------------

yesterday went for service and Pst Kong shared an awesome message which came pretty timely for most of us!

7 kinds of sufferings:

1) Storm of life
2) Chastening
3) Temptation
4) Spiritual Warfare
5) Afflictions
6) Persecutions
7) Trials of faith

All in all, it just means that it is the nature of life to be stormy and we must be prepared for both blessing and adversity. And being persecuted is a privilege because it just means you are entrusted and honoured for bigger things in life despite having to suffer for it. In a way, it is a gift!

Trials of faith requires patience and patience is perseverance and perseverance is the capacity to endure. Truly, your attitude determines your altitude.

And spiritually, the more God wants to use you, the more the devil plots against you. For one reason, the devil is jealous. Jealous of your close relationship with God. Once you condemn, judge and accuse, you are actually doing the devil's work! Scary huh.

Another thing is to encourage yourself when there's no one encouraging you. This makes us someone who is positive and not someone who is always depressed.

yes, it doesn't mean if you're righteous, you won't suffer.
often, successful people are people who worked the hardest and suffered the most.
yeah!!

i am so encouraged by this message!!

i presume now most of us are suffering under the storms of life.
since promos results came as a blow for some of us.
well, there's hope, there's hope.

have your heard of seeing a rainbow after a storm? or have you experienced it?
cause i must say this is really true!!

maybe we should stop blaming the promo papers for being difficult or the teachers who set these horrible papers. maybe it just have got to do with our own attitude.

Though He will slay me, I will still hope in Him.

-Job 13:15-

i really dislike the feeling of being misunderstood. really really hate it.

i know hate is a strong word. but i don't know what other word to use.
hopefully it will come to pass.

-----------------------------

my friends told me yesterday that they don't know me. and they can't understand me as well as the others. they said i keep too much things to myself and what i think is often not what i feel.

but honestly i feel that i'm easy to understand.
but it's only when you know me well, then you will start to know how i feel towards different things. that's when you uderstand me i guess.

about me not always saying how i feel is because i have yet to learn how to say no to people.

don't know why, sometimes i just feel obliged to do something.

to put it nicely, i don't want to hurt anyone.

but i know there's a limit to it. but i really can't bring myself to.

can you help me please.

i don't really keep things to myself that much.
i do in the past, but now i'm actually more open.

but you know, some things should be kept safe in your heart.

at least you know you won't betray your heart.

yuppp this is my personal explanation to you friends(:

SPEAK

Talking to long and hq this afternoon was truly a bliss.
got to know them better in some way or another(:

head off to riverwalk thereafter for prayer meeting!
really tired and slept on my way there but i am really glad i went!
the atmosphere was just great to seek Him and pray.

prayed for many things. and meditated too.
two things i desired in my heart when i went for pm.
first being, breakthroughs in my life, secondly, revelations and visions.
prayed for my family and some of my friends, especially those i felt a need to pray for.

in a flash, yet another week is gone.
medan trip is still on!!
and i'll be leaving next week! yay~!

DECLARATION: I need stronger vocal chords and wider ranges of pitch and voice quality!!
i'm determined to practise hard.
whooooooooooooooooooooshhhhhhhhh.

today Dr Nic said during math class when practically nobody was listening, he said "Look from someone else's perspective."
simple theory but difficult to grasp.
i want to add on by saying, "Only then you will truly understand someone."

The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.

Romans 13:12 (NIV)

refuge

today i realised that it's really tough to comfort someone when you aren't that happy yourself.
firstly, it drains your energy and your mood.
secondly, it influences you emotionally.
third and lastly, it takes extra effort if the person is especially stubborn.

sigh. yet another of such a day tomorrow.
smile it through(:

i saw a quote today which went something like,
When you feel the world pushing you down to your knees, this is when it's the best position to pray.

cool huh. never thought of it this way(:

promos results were kind of expected.
i mean, the results i got are well-deserved of my efforts.
and it is neither a good thing or bad.
satisfied with GP and Econs(:
but definitely not math.
sigh.
okay i am not going to worry too much. besides, the overall results aren't finalised so i don't see the point worrying about something i can't control.
be still and expectant of something you truly deserve.

i am listening to a pretty touching canto song now.
tears welling but not flowing. hehe ;)

man.

i miss mummy and pearlyn jiejie.

come back soon.
i feel lost.
i need to be independent.

oh yes,
家好月圆 is a MUST-WATCH hongkong drama!!!
My record: 40 episodes in 3 weeks.
;)

tomorrow is gonna be a shag day.
i will live it well.

bliss

Yesterday i stayed back in school with emelia.
and we didnt felt like doing anything.
just listened to songs in my laptop, and she helped me delete about 2000 over emails from my flooding inbox. hee.. thanks long.

then we head off to play basketball to de-stress(: which wasn't exactly helping. haha.
played a little match with suyi and her friend. 2 vs 2.
played played played under the scorching sun and felt hungry):
so went to nearby coffeeshop to have lunch and talked for quite awhile before she had to go off.

that was my friday.

------------------------------

Today was quite a day.
went out with the gang for lunch at waraku @ the central.
good to see them again since more than a month ago for most of them.
haha some changes though. esther had a new hairstyle, mong became quieter.
i think i seemed pretty down today. like i didnt talk much and smiled lesser.
sigh, i shouldn't have.
probably just had alot of things going through my mind.

anyway, ting and i head off to church after that.
and once again, my heart was lifted!
i am really delivered today.
today's message was on Perseverance.
which is the capacity to Endure.

yet another inspiring message on endurance. just like Job in the Bible.
He's one of the greatest greatest greatest son of God.
though he went through many sufferings, and i mean really bad sufferings, the worst sufferings i have heard in my life, he still praised God and testified His love.
how amazing is that.
God allows problems to happen to you because He wants to build your immunity and see how faithful you can be in the midst of crisis.
it was his broken heart that made him grew stronger and developed perseverance.

In the Bible, it says that Perseverance produces Character and Character produces Hope.

i am really getting to learn more and more things each day.
wisdom(:

and wisdom doesn't make you old, it just means you're getting more mature.
and i like how this word sounds!

this is my saturday.

-----------------------------

Programme for tomorrow, Sunny Sunday:

Early in the morning at 6plus, i'll be waking up to send mum and sis off as they'll be going to malacca together with grandma(: for a holiday.
haha sadly i still have school. i'd love to go!

then later in the noon, there'll be pw meeting in my house!
gotta start on oral presentation!

Thereafter in the evening, gotta go buy dinner for ahgong since he'll be alone at home.
and accompany him for the night.

that will be my sunday.

sanctuary

yesterday and today were undescribably exhausting.
but i am still thankful for the opportunities.
yeah it's so true that when a door closes, another opens. and it's just endless.
i am really very humbled today. i don't know why.
i am just touched by the people around me.

and i thank God for all these people, for being such a blessing and joy to have around.
today we shared alot during house comm lunch.
all the stories and heart felt thoughts.
immediately, i was blown away by the the emotions, and i mean the emotional side of that person i didn't see before that made me think pretty hard.
what are we doing seriously?

the broken and the lost are still weak, scared and unloved.
all around the world.
and here we are complaining of the silliest things - the weather, how naggy our parents are, wealthy material possessions. whatever, you name it.
sigh..): when there are lots of people in this world suffering, no family, no love and they are people who don't see hope in their lives.
this is definitely a wake up call to all you fortunate people with everything you need. it's really more than enough.

the CCA carnival in school today was quite a success i should say.
though more can be improved ;)

for the choir booth at LT, i am extremely grateful to all of you who came and showed your support and interest for our CCA.
i especially want to thank michelle for coming up front to try out one of our choir warm-ups.
good job girl(:
it's really a wonderful wonderful feeling honestly.
and hannah said today that this is one of choir's best achievement.
even though it isn't a large scale event or anything, it's just a tiny little CCA showcase, but i guess it's the spirit behind the whole thing.
imagine learning a song just yesterday and having to perform it today?
it's pretty amazing. and i am shocked by myself, even i could do it.
for this, i am very very proud to be in JJ Choir as well as being in House comm, serving the school population and making things happen.
not an easy road to be on.
in fact, it's extremely inevitably tiring, sometimes you just get so worn out that you feel literally crushed inside.
but i guess that's when our character is being tested.

i am challenging myself from today on, to be the best i can be. not perfect, but just someone i can feel proud to be.

Dear Jesus, take all of me in exchange for all of you. I love You. Amen.

doing well by doing good

"SUCCESS IS FAILURE AND FAILURE AND FAILURE AND FAILURE WITHOUT THE LOSS OF ENTHUSIASM."

Heard this from Brother John Hope Bryant in church today.
VERY VERY IMPACTFUL.
it's not just the words, but the tone he said it. Full of conviction and righteousness.

You're not gonna make a change in the world; but you are gonna BE the change in the world.
YOU ARE THE CHANGE!

let's be dream chasers!