today's math paper was pretty much a disaster.
so many application of integration questions!! the topic which i lacked practice, sadly.
but i've gotten over it!
now i shall focus on my chem and physics papers! last two papers! till we BREAKFREEEE!!!
hahaha yeah!! 6th Oct 6th Oct!!
thinking about all the fun activities i am gonna have after exams are just making me soooo excited!
but of course i will enjoy myself even harder if i did my best in the exams!
;)

i am very very satisfied, and very touched by the ending of Heart of Greed yesterday!
good ending.. oh mann i really love it!!
Mr OK! haha he's my favourtie character in the show! what a nice guy.
guys like him are really rare these days.


went to the library to study with michelle last friday and our library study sessions always have a drawing time. hahaha so these are our master pieces!

michelle's drawing =)

i drew this ;)

this woman, is just amazing.

celine dion, one of the best singers i know.

If things don't change, I will make it change.

bond

The following are lessons i've learnt in my life.
To someone else, it's nothing really.
But to me, because it's my life, it's something very very significant.
because i am feeling alot for it.
what may appear small to you may appear huge to someone else.

To sum it all, this is what i've learnt:

1) Love and sacrifice is never convenient. Did you realise that you have to go through leaps and bounds to prove that your love is true for someone?
2) My word measures my character. Have you been keeping to your promises? Are you a man of integrity, a man of your word?
3) My word is the expression of my nature. If you speak vulgarities, it just simply shows you are a vulgar person.
4) I know i'm just wasting time if i don't do something worthy about my life.
5) Sometimes, I don't need to pretend to be strong when i'm not.
6) Having a relationship with someone is a heavy responsibility, but it tests your love for the person.
7) It's not about the outward, but the inward.
8) If things don't work out, it's okay if you sit down, emo and think for awhile, but get back up and do something about it.
9) Standing united is falling when someone falls, and getting up together again.
10) I know that saying "I'll be there for you" without actually being there is just being superficial.


This is my word and promise to you, even if I'm not physically there, trust me that I'll be praying for you.

I know i've mentioned above, but i really feel the need to emphasize this again, to myself and to all.

YOUR WORD MEASURES YOUR CHARACTER.

go fulfil your convictions and promises you've made!
stop living with empty promises!

Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much. and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.

-Luke 16:10-

boom or doom?

THE DAY IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
no, Jesus is not coming yet.
i mean, promotional examinations are finally here.
just wanna get it over and done with.
but of course, to do well too ;)

you must be wondering why i am blogging at a time like this? when my first paper is up in about 8 hours' time..hah can't help but to say a few words before moving on to fight the good fight!

jiejie was really nice to encourage me and played a couple of songs on the guitar(:
it really did calm my nerves so thank you so much sistaaa!
i am truly blessed.

my back have been awfully pain these past weeks.
hurts so much. and it becomes numb once in awhile.
terrible sensation from my shoulders to my spine. and all the way down to my legs.
i thought it was no biggie, but unfortunately, it's really a big biggie.
i'm really scared.
i better stop carrying heavy bags to school. it's not doing any good huh.

okay forget about that, now i just hope and pray that tomorrow's paper and subsequent papers to be easy peasy lemmon squeezy please(:
2 weeks of torture, sure i can make it through.
and many weeks of freedom thereafter, it's a pretty good deal actually.
hehe.

i am doing alot of thinking lately and i do know in my heart that i am concious when i think.
i had a terrible misunderstanding about a friend of mine recently.
and in my mind, it's like disaster.
but later i found out, hey it's nothing really but a silly misunderstanding.
and really, i realised that what i look is really not what i see.
same goes for your ears, what you hear may not be what you listen.

i think having problems in life is a joyful thing!
without being broken and torned occasionally, no love can actually mend those hurts.
only with broken-ness, love can come forth.
if you're already happy and loved, how much more love do you need?
1 litre? 2 litres?
but when you're shagged and hurt, how much love do you lack?
as much as you can get right!

well, that's my example!

alright, time to go!
best wishes and all the very best fellow muggers!
i'm keeping my faith.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:18)

labour

THREE DAYS OF PROJECT WORK.
Thank God i'm a survivor.
though with occassional headaches and heartburns, the rest of the time was pure joy to score well.

tell you something funny, i realised the busier i get, the more things i wanna do!
as promos get nearer, i'm like finding more things for myself to do!
which is apparently quite silly because people try to cut down on stuff to do when they have more to do isn't it? but this isn't the case for me, strangely.

i'm currently reading The Five People You Meet In Heaven by Mitch Albom.
after taking a fancy to Tuesdays with Morrie last december.
heehee i like his books!!

And i just bought GP and Economics Essay books today.
planning to read one essay every night before i go to bed.
hopefully i stick to my resolution.

On top of all these books, I want to read one very important book; The Bible.

yeah yeah i'm a bookworm, surprisingly ;)

oh well, If you want a rainbow, you must go through the rain.

And if i search all the world, I will never find a love like Yours.

This is my life experience.

Sometimes you can't see God's hand, He's telling you, Come and find My Heart.

Life's tribulations, are they merely coincidental? i say not.

I believe God is the One who set all this up, prepared for this situation to befall upon me, to build up my faith. God allows bad things to happen to put a steel on your back to make you stronger, to stand firm.

When things happen in the most unexpected circumstances, you feel angry, disappointed and burdened, don't complain, but move in the power of faith.

I have learnt to build my life on three things:

Gift, Strength and Revelation.

Gift refers to spiritual grace.

Ting once told me that i have the gift of mercy and compassion.

and i didn't really thought how precious that Gift was. Now i know.

I will treasure that Gift and use it wisely.

Strength means natural abilities and talents!

everyone has a strength. if you don't know, you simply haven't discover it yet!

and if you know your strength, unleash it and impact the world with it!

Revelation means what God has spoken to you.

It's the Calling.

Mine was pretty significant.

It was the calling for me to go to JJC.

strange?

I put first choice, and i got it.

I tried for Council, and i got in.

I tried for Choir, and i am in.

defnitely not a coincidence.

and to think of it, i am actually developing my potential.

i was in girl guides in secondary school and held a rank to lead and guide people.

now that i'm in council, i'm actually further sharpening myself to improve and be a better leader.

as for choir, i'm working on my strength, and that's singing.

Really, i am amazed by how God can transform me into the person i am today.

the achievements and confidence i have gained in this school is tremendous and i know it's really a blessing because if maybe, i scored better and enter into a better college in terms of an academically stronger and highly reputable school, i wouldn't be the person you know.

and i'm not talking about the measurable achievements, but something greater than that!

Truly, in times of crisis, God wants you to fixed your eyes on Him.

And not on your problems.

I am extremely thankful and grateful for God's mercy upon my life.

It's because of His Mercy, I can then be merciful.

yesterday's service was phenomenal!

hot tears streamed down my cheeks, over and over again when i got touched by His presence and His love. The feeling is so tangible.

Some say, "There's no such thing as a God!" "You must be mad!" "It's just another religion!"

Firstly, it's because you haven't actually experience the powerful and true touch from God in His House, that's the reason why you doubt.

But i tell you, His love is so great, so great, even greater than every problem in this world!

That's why Christians pray alot, we seek refuge in Him and cast everything on Him.

We yearn to follow the character traits of Jesus of forgiveness, humility, kindness and selflessness.

And no, Christianity is not a religion. It's a relationship.

I thank God for this path He has created for me.

One that is narrow and one that is difficult to walk.

But when i have stood the test, the Glory of God will be revealed!

a big shout of Amen to that!

Life especially in Singapore is incredibly fast-paced.

When was the last time you had some quiet time, some peaceful moments to listen attentively to the birds singing outside your window?

And when was the last time you could take a stroll by the park to admire God's work of nature?

Simplicities in life that most failed to capture.

this is a good reflection moment for me too.

I can't help but to quote William Shakespeare now.
He wrote in A Midsummer Night's Dream, "The course of true love never did run smooth."

last year when i took my olevels, studying this book for literature, it didn't occur to me how strong this sentence was.
True love is tested through tears, pain and hardship.
never smooth-sailing.

some tell me they don't believe in true love.
they think it's non-existent! it's not possible!

i guess it's subjective. it depends on your own personal definition of it(:

my mum's close friend's dad passed away peacefully yesterday.
i was pretty saddened because my mum's friend is someone i love and am close to.

and then, i got reminded of a book, Tuesdays with Morrie.
That wise old man, strong-willed even though his days were numbered.
He said one powerful statement that is rooted to my heart since last year when i read it!
When you learn how to die, you learn how to live.

I need Wisdom.

awesome song!
different versions by various singers, but i personally like Natalie Grant's. enjoy!

energy-drained week.

school today was pretty alright. because physics lesson was cancelled.

and chem lesson was pushed forward meaning early dismissal.
so went with 7 other friends to nearby macs to have lunch.

bonded a little, and saw some embarrassing moments. haha!

shall not mention..for the sake of personal privacy.

went back to school to study after lunch(:

but main purpose was to wait for michelle so we can go home together.

had a good laugh at several Youtube videos for a slight chill before getting the books out.

studied chem with odelia and rachel(:

and it was a pretty good studying session with them, with music and our 'tutor', jt who insists on hanging around our table.. haha.

oh yes, let me share something new about myself that i've learnt from rachel and odelia!

heeheehee :P

they said when i'm embarrassed, i like to adjust my specs, you know, like putting my specs to a comfortable position on my nose. like the sophisticated look. O.O

but it's a natural reaction kind of thing. haha.

and they can't stop laughing about it!!

tomorrow gotta go back to school for pw meeting.

7 30am!!

school time =.=

no worries hq, haha i will push myself to wake up and be refreshed!

i'll do anything for pw! just to ACE it mann!

have a good rest world! it's friday!

the weekend is here!!

I'm extremely tired but I can't sleep even though i'm in bed now.
I just had my quiet time and I prayed to God for many things!
trust that He has answered my prayers.

i'm composing another song of my own recently.
i hope it turns out good ;)

the song title: Can I Be
yeap got the words ready but not so much of the music yet.
i like writing songs!
it expresses most my deepest feelings and that's what makes everything seem so true, so candid, so transparent.

today i felt pain again. am i getting weaker each day?
i'm afraid one day when i wake, i can no longer move.
the bones are breaking apart. the tissues are tearing. the muscles are aching.
sounds terrible.
please heal.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

within.

i'm deeply deeply deeply mesmorised and touched all the way down with this song! it's so beautiful. About braving through odds, struggles and pain.

And another of her song, Our Hope Endures, it says,

Walk a mile with the woman whose body is torn; With illness, but she marches on.

amazing.

if you know me well, you will know how i am feeling now. The words really speak to my heart.

runaway bride.

i got attracted to this picture when i first saw it.
i don't know, but this picture speaks alot.

Is marriage like a race between a couple?
hahaha just a random thought.

anyway today wasn't a supposedly good day for me.
several reasons but shall not list.
i've already got over them anyway.

recently, i read this out from a friend's personal message and it says,

Some thinks holding on is making one strong; sometimes it's letting go.

impactful yeah.

everybody are submerged in the examination spirit, or should i say, drowned.
i mean, it's so obvious everyone is stressed about every little thing, worried, anxious, any word to describe someone under distress.

i am like no other.

and i start to wonder, if this is what they call competition?
fighting for higher grades, then fighting for better university choices, and what next, superiority?

everybody in school are cranky, restless, moody, just like walking zombies.
exam fever so to speak.
this feeling is terrible. the atmosphere is so stagnent.
and sometimes, you just feel like your efforts to make the people around you happy are wasted.

hey, i am not complaing here or anything.
just felt like expressing heart-felt thoughts =)
no specific persona. just in general.

alright, tomorrow will be a better day!
tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday, sunday, take it all Jesus(:

sometimes when someone says she is alright, she actually wants someone to look right into her eyes and say tell the truth.

if i say i'm alright, it doesn't mean i am really fine.
i am human and i am not that happy and cheery and positive all the time agree? ;)
and if you think i'm strong enough to comfort myself and keep positive thoughts, honestly i can't.
people tell me, "you can do it!", "press on!", "jiayou!", "don't worry!", "stay strong!", all these i know.
it's just another kind reminder.

what everybody needs i feel, is a shoulder to cry on.

so now, i shall make it a point to be more interested and concerned for the people around me.
don't be surprised if i'd out of the blue ask you, "are things at home are okay?"

=)

i need someone too.

this week is a busy busy week. occupied to its brim.
but it's the studying that is reigning over my life now.

i know it's funny but i am feeling more stressed than last year during the olevels period!
well, this shows how eager i want to get promoted to j2 ;)

i am sooo blessed by Pastor Kong's sermon today! so so impactful.
LOYALTY IS STRENGTH.
stay committed guys!! in all aspects of your life.

i havebeen studying with a couple of friends this week and surprizingly, it isn't all that bad.
at least some effort to dicipline and control oneself from digressing was seen!(:
and yes finally, i have compiled and neatened the written report for pw!
thanks mates for your cooperation. couldnt have done it without you.

school's reopening in 1 day's time! i don't know if i should smile or cry!
i miss my class and my friends. and studying and playing in school.
but it just means life is getting tougher cause promos are hereeee!!!
this is life huh.
up and down. up and down. merry and sorrow!
but all things come to a good end. Thank God.

oh man guess what, my estate is under some repair work and renovation now. i think they are repainting!! i'm excited!
gotta have tolerance for the inconveniece that it's causing for now(:

yay mummy is bringing me to karaoke tomorrow!
haha she said she had some good lobang.
oh noo i hope it wouldnt be awkward i havent exactly sing to my parents before.
dont know why but i feel more comfortable singing to my friends, especially you know who. best singing buddies!!

alright have a good rest world!
i love you.

mad rush.

studying at the library today was surprizingly condusive!
together with michelle, planned to hit the books at macs but got chased out :P
okay not chased out, but asked to leave.
because the management said there're lots of customers during that hour.
yea kinda our fault.
but after we left, we realised we were still holding on to our drinks.
haha and michelle claimed it's a customer's right to stay put since we still had out drinks.
hehe ah well.

then we head on to the library which was not a bad idea actually.
because we tend to be more diciplined in studying.
can't talk that much you see... =)

i'm glad i managed to do some math and chem revision.
hahaha and due to sheer boredom, we took blank pieces of paper and drew each other!
like real still life drawings of ourselves.
it was pretty weird cause we had to stare at each other while we drew.
awkward.
but awkwardness turned into fun!! really!

tomorrow is friday already!
and very soon, school is reopening for TERM 4. the horrible TERM 4 is here!!!
hmmm and i'm thinking if i should say TGIF.

yes i should.
TGIF!
Thank God for and in all things!

and i conclude that time passes super fast when you're either studying hard or enjoying youself.

i wonder if i'm half-dead.
oh no no, i mean half-alive =)

EVERYBODY! KEEP GOING!
^.^

joy

today i shall upload photos to brighten up by otherwise gloomy day.
so to begin, let me introduce, 09S15. my class.

service with mavis, felicia and joey on a sunday morning.

best COC, friend and sister =)

time off with secondary school friends on teachers' day.

love you all with all my heart.

oh yea before i go,

HAPPY 090909 EVERYBODY!

to all muggers out there, focus and have faith.

with you.

great song.

let's be contented with what we have and stop thinking about how much the world owes us.
this is happiness.

oh yeah, i found out one thing about myself today,
I LOVE SURPRISES!!
<3

FEAR NOT.

this week seemed too long.
three days of official school days but it felt like a week's long of school.

yay school hols are here! for ONE WEEK.
not to play, but for intense revision!
no more fooling around, it's time to get serious.
i will try ;) hehe.

PW meeting over at my house on friday was pretty good.
i mean, at least we did the organizing, citing and editing of our written report(:
now gotta work on substantiation of ideas.
and once again, it was a fine talk with eme and xx.
haha hq, don't worry. you're not forgotten.
plus we didn't talk about emo stuff.
stop your obsession for emo talks la! hahaha

ytd's service was just mind-blowing!
3 key attitudes i have learnt:
1) Attitude of repentence
2) Attitude of faith
3) Attitude to bear fruit

and this is really not jsut a coincidence because days ago i have been thinking about bearing fruit.
how cool is that.

anyway i've been thinking about this.
since i'm going for a school trip to medan at the end of the year, if i don't work hard for promos now, i won't be able to enjoy myself there right. because i will feel guilty and pretty much uneasy if i did screw up. (touch wood)
so i will give my all.
so while i'm enjoying myself after promos, i am TRULY enjoying myself.
with no worries, no nothing.

yes! i'm motivated!!
Thank God.

I CAN'T WAIT FOR 090909!
it's a special day!

=)

right now, i've just completed some school survey in the comp lab.
thinking that i should probably just write a post to kill time. hehehe
i'm excited because my pw group is coming over to my place later!
yay!
it's gonna be fruitful i hope!

dancing!

days are passing in a blink of an eye.
it seems like just yesterday i came into jc.
and now, promos are just around the corner.
is it because there's too little time?
or is it because we are wasting time away?

these few days, i am pretty happy. i feel lighter because my heart is lifted!
but my school bag is getting heavier.
hm..let's take it as a reminder that i must focus and study hard for promos!
though my shoulder is aching. and my old ailment..sigh.
gettin' frail. hahaha!
count me in if you need a buddy to exercise!

okay i want to wander off to dreamland now.

thought of the day: BEAR FRUITS.