Everyday I should be able to tell myself, "I am having a time of my life!"

(...)
I wrote a whole chunk of stuff here but I decided to delete everything away. When one day, you feel that everything you're doing is redundant (unappreciated), I think the feeling of disappointment and hurt become redundant too. I don't like writing meaningless things. So, yeah.
If one day, someone is able to touch my heart alot (Maybe like I am moved to tears or something), it's then I'll probably get out of my current predicament. (I shan't reveal here.)

Happy 18th Birthday Suyi! ♥ ♥ ♥

Thank you for bringing joy and laughter to my life! Our shared memories (especially Talentime moments) are treasured and fondly remembered! Continue to be of good cheer to everything that life brings for and to you! Happy blessed 18th once again!

Lots of love, Jo.

Today was...hard fought.
I think I had given a pretty strong front already. If I was alone at home, I would probably have yelled and wailed and struggled on the floor like a baby demanding for milk. (Heh!)
I really think I have become quite tolerant. I don't think I am afraid of injections, insect bites, whatever. I think I've been through much worse situations. This is good, it is increasing my AQ. (Oh, it stands for Adversity Quotient.)

I do not think that I react to situations very well. There's always much more to learn.
I believe all of us have experienced times when we acted impulsively or spoke carelessly. This is a mistake we all make very often and this should be a learning point for us that we ought to seek to constantly improve.

This examination period is making me feel so... unreal to fantasy and far from idealism, in other words, welcome to reality.
I have accepted this fact already.

(I have been dreaming about someone lately. Oh no, please do not tell me I...)

Everybody, let's join hands!

People in love, hold hands. People who change the world, join hands.

A little awkward, a little unsure.

I studied so much today and I'm actually saying this because I can hardly believe myself. I should be tired by now. 11:40pm. But I am on my pink swivel chair, sitting upright, allowing the wind to blow my let-down and a little wet hair, and tat-tat-tat, goes the sound of my fingertips tapping up-and-downwardly on the keyboard. It is late, what am I doing here.

I am waiting. Waiting for the clock to strike twelve. Waiting to wish two of my friends a big greeting of Happy Birthday! I am so excited =)

It is no fun, no fun at all to be in a situation whereby your friend calls you up to tell you that she doesn't know what to do, because a friend of hers has gone missing and is having suicidal thoughts and is in heavily depressed state. (Without family support.)
How.
Such unexpected news caught me off guard, unprepared of what I should be saying. I was shocked! (Too.) As much as my friend was worried, I was greatly anxious as well. But worrying wasn't a wise thing to feel, I was thinking of more practical ways to help in some way or another. Our solution was to wait. Continue contacting her. Until the poor girl responds. And when that happens, thank God, everything will be fine.

11:55pm. I should get ready to tuck myself in bed soon. Because when the new morn awakes, it is time for yet another day of a four-hour long lesson in school. I don't want to doze off.

So, Goodnight!

Stop cursing the person who stole your parking lot! (In life.)

I am trying to squeeze out a little more creativity in the things I do now. Dislike being so rigid all the time. (That's what I feel about myself.)
Although I feel my life is already interesting, it can be better! I want to be a little more adventurous! (Not in the rebellious way.)

This weekend, I was mainly out for family gatherings. Saturday with paternal side, Sunday with maternal side. I enjoy these occasional gatherings, except for the part when my Mom kept creating awkward moments or rather, situations between my male cousins and I. You know, mothers... Sigh.
But nevertheless, it was a good time to catch up with one another. I really do treasure these times spent with my family!
One thing I noticed about Youths these days when they are out for family gatherings is the inappropriate usage of handphones. That's the unhealthy part of technology. It connects people, but it disconnects people at the same time. I am not contradicting if you think hard enough. (Heehee.)

I think if we are able to live out the morals that we preach, then, that is Character.
I just watched IP MAN! (Finally.) And wow, he is truly a great man of dignity, modesty and humility.

Just a quick thought, I love Demsey Hill and those seemingly refreshing shop houses along Bukit Timah Road. Those are good places to unwind and put aside the chaos in life.
Serene Centre is indeed as serened as it is named. The only motivation to go there was Island Creamery since it was ages I went there. (Ever since SC days.)

Ice-cream gives people the motivation to exercise. (Apparently.) Since it goes like this, the more you exercise, the more ice-cream you feel you deserve to eat. (Maybe this only applies to those physically self-conscious kids.)

I am thankful for little outings during this term break. It shows me how people do not forget one another even in the midst of busyness.
The effort to keep in touch is so inspiring.

I am a real woman. I know so.

Sometimes, I really don't want to grow up. I just can't imagine all the responsibilities and complications of adulthood.

But sometimes, I really do want to grow up. I want to break free. I want to do what I always dreamed of doing. I want to be the pilot of my own life. I want to take things under my own stride. I want to bear the responsibilities. I want to take care of my parents. I want to be a big sister to my little cousins. I want to stay up late and see stars. I want to make my own curfews. I want to make decisions on my own. I want to feel how it is like to be in love. I want to be a brave lady. I want to be influential. I want to earn money. I want to pay for my own expenses. I want to go for a shopping spree at my own leisure. I want to travel all around the world. I want to be trustworthy. I want to live in a humble home. I want to be a strong and happy woman. I want to go on adventures. I want to be a Superhero in the eyes of my kids. (That is if I do have any in the future, Haha!) I want to meet my friends for Tea. I want to be fit and healthy. I want to drive so that I can fetch my parents around. I want to be a best friend of somebody. I want to learn martial arts. I want to try wearing heels. I want to do something new each day.

I will do what is right, always.

He knows, He knows, He knows.

Today seemed like a really long day. I thought that too many things happened in one day that I could hardly process the chronological sequence of the today's events. (Now that I reflect.)

Economics paper was not to say, very difficult, but I can say it was manageable. I know I worked hard for it. So, hopefully, I will receive results that I truly deserve!

A little outing after that with most of my class girls was great! My first time to Marina Barrage and I am sure captivated by the beautiful landscape. I was attracted to the big open space, lush green grass, the kites people of all ages flew, most looking really happy when their kites flew up high, some irritated that their kites weren't flying but kept trying anyway, little kids running around, beautiful newly weds taking their wedding photos, sweet couples enjoying each others' company and the many groups of friends who were having a whole lot of fun. I was part of the crowd. And oh, I wasn't really that concerned with the scorching sun.

To summarize everything, Marina Barrage is a gorgeous place, and the only motivation for a hearty getaway is with a good company!

My day did not end in a high note like I thought it would. But nevertheless, I feel comforted by this renewal of faith each time I had to struggle, to fight against something. Today, I experienced something new. But firstly, thank you Mr. Taxi Driver. Thank you for bringing me home safe. The first thought when it acted up was, come on, just control. Since I was in the cab, it was not a good place to act like I was physically in pain. I did it, I controlled. To the best I could. But even as I control, tears welled up in my eyes and streamed down profusely. There was no intention to cry. No reason too. But I just did. And so, I figured out that the pain I was feeling was to such an extent that if I control, it could be so unbearable that tears will fall unknowingly. Nice point to note about myself today and I guess this is what people call 'suffering in silence.' (Ha!)

The moment I stepped home (No one was home), I hesitated no more but to take my medicine and rush to my bed. I laid in bed. I felt really tired to even toss around to find the most comfortable position like I usually would do. And for a moment, I thought I gave up trying. But then I thought to myself, I did not. I was actually resisting the pain! I did nothing but laid still, and I finally cried out to God. Then, I thought of the song 'The Voice Within'. The words of this song pictures the similar state I was in. I dried my tears and found peace in my heart. I was not feeling any better. I simply moved on.

P.S: I was really encouraged and moved by those people who tweeted and texted me if I was OK. I am OK! Thank you so very much.

Hello. I. Am. Hopeful. And. Stronger. For. Life. Yay. (Are you?)

Our imperfections. Too many.
My, I really need to learn from others. I always believe that surely, there is something good to learn from someone, even when you least expect something out from that person.

Currently reading,

(Kindly borrowed from Emelia)

Another week has passed. Yes, it's this fast. It's already the second week of June! And pretty soon, the start of another school term begins.

Mum had fairly well seen me working hard the past week and I am relieved that my discipline level is on track. I really don't want to disappoint my Mum. She really have high hopes on me and is constantly believing in me. So yes, I will do her proud.

There's something I can't put my mind off about. I feel sad about it. But I know I have to keep believing that one day I will not face such parental objection anymore. This means alot to me, and if you understand me, I am really sad.

I appreciate it alot when people ask me about my current life, even things that do not concern them but they still ask anyway, because these are the people who truly care. And these conversations just become some sort of a mutual sharing session and it's really a blessing because you'd never know what you can learn along the way! It's not about being nosey, it's just a matter of being a good friend.

That's why, treasure it when people greet you with a simple two-worded, "How's life?"
That person cares and loves you!

Consolidating the bits and pieces of my thoughts

I have been practising the guitar alot lately and my fingertips are bruised. I don't mind because I enjoy playing the guitar.
I think the Bible is the only book that can give me peace in my heart. Because it's the truth and the truth sets me free.
I want to learn to appreciate my parents more. I love my family alot.
I want people to love me for who I am and not for what I can give them.
I cannot accept when people keep their pride when they are clearly in the wrong.
I need wisdom.
I deeply appreciate humble people.
I am stubborn in the things I believe strongly in, so don't be mad at me for being persistent sometimes. I know what I am doing.
I am always motivated to go an extra mile to bless somebody and to make someone happy when love becomes my only motivation.
I can be serious at times. But it doesn't mean I am unhappy. I may be facing a difficult situation. So, just ask me.
I need to learn to speak in a lower volume. I will try I promise.
I feel that we should be ashamed of our judging attitudes.
I know that speaking nicely will be helpful in many situations.
I feel that studying is a joy when you are in a nice environment.
I am able to tolerate certain behavior as long as I understand the causes of it.
I am a huge enthusiast of the arts.
I prefer musicals to recitals. But both are equally fascinating.
I love hand-made stuff.
I get frustrated when things spoil at a time when I need them the most. And I can only blame myself for last-minuteness.
I love dreams with nice endings because I want to wake up feeling happy.
I used to dislike coffee, I still do but strangely, I like drinking Mocha.
I feel that everyone in my life are beautiful in their unique ways.
I think the only way to conquer fear is to overcome it.

Don't judge a moody person if you are unsure of the situation she is in. Seek to understand before being understood.

This week is probably one the few weeks I hear and see people around me feeling irritated. This word 'irritated' is everywhere. I don't know why.

Singapore's index of happiness level is probably at its all-time low this week. Perhaps, just JJC.

One of the most inspiring books I have read thus far! Great man with such great stories.