It's time for me to take a break, maybe?
But being sick is awful.
I still have so many things to take care of. Argh.

Not a single thought of abandoning hope!

Today i poured my heart out and am so blessed and humbled by the message shared by my leader during cell group meeting. Really felt that whatever he said was for me and to me. Kind of a great encouragement for all of us to rise up to a brand new level.
My faith got shaken as I began to choose to stay convicted to where i belong, and serve people in greater ways. I don't know if i'm doing it right, but by faith, i believe whatever that comes around, it's not by sheer coincidence, but a purpose :)

My life is really like a piece of clay now. Pressed hard on every side with the commitments in school, family and friends, but i will not be crushed. And who knows the pressure i am feeling now is moulding me into a person of better shape! (not literally of course)

Yesssss! No wonder people say life is like a battlefield. It's either you are prepared to fight on, or you are just preparing to lose. And i feel that it's so easy to feel so tired of everything and give up all that you were once striving for. But when comes to picking oneself up, it's yet so so so tough.

I agree with what my PE teacher said about long distance run, it's really not about how talented you are in running and not so much of how strong your stamina is, it's really your will. By keeping focus on the path you are running, each step you take is definitely not a painful and tiring one, it will be a step out of your comfort zone because even when you feel like collapsing, your will gave you courage to strike out yet another step forward :)

This reminds me that...i'm taking part in 3000m event and 4 x 100m team relay for sports day! Quite excited yet anxious at the same time. It's my first time taking part in a 3000m event! With all my friends' support, no doubt there's a little bit of pressure, i will finish the race no matter what. First or last, it doesn't really matter right? Well, nobody said being last is the loser, but if you quit, you are the loser.

Oh yes, did i mention i am working on my studies as well. Crucial year. Not a time to take things so easy. But not too seriously as well la. I mean, striking a balance between work and play is extremely important agree? :)

At the end of the day, my main goal is to honour my parents with a good deserving future and a positive attitude towards life and people :)

If you happen to feel the same way as me, three words for you, GO FOR IT!

Ok, that's about all i have to say for now. Wow long post. Shall turn in soon :) Oooh for those dear ones who have been concerned about my spine and bone problem, no worries, i have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow soooo, let's just pray that i'll get treated and healed very soon!

But right now, A cheerful heart is (really) good medicine! :)
Friends, I am doing the best i can :)

Today was really a bad day in disguise!
Just when i thought that "There goes my day..." this morning when the bus took so long to come, many unpleasant things happened on the bus, was late to meet rach and mich, missed the train, lost my balance on the train and knocked someone... today turned out to be a happy happy day!

I laughed alot today, no actually i laugh alot everyday, but today, maybe because lessons weren't that taxing, so all the not so good things that happened this morning totally didn't affect my mood for the entire day.

oh oh! the year ones are here!!! I don't know if i should smile or sigh. Regardless, i still welcome them with open arms :)
But then again, something all of us, year twos dread is the crowd in the canteen, busstops, everywhere!! Meaning longer queues and shorter time for break, and more packed areas along the corridors, squeezy squeezy...):
But of course i am not complaining or blaming anyone, haha, i'm just stating a casual remark :)
I saw a few SC girls!!! :D that's one of the joyous part for today!
I will find another chance to talk to them personally :)

Did i mention that i love my friends alot?
I don't care, i want to say again!!
Friends are truly God's blessings :)
I will treasure these blessings.

You can really be happy if you want to. Even if you feel crushed outwardly, your inward spirit never crumbles.

My head feels so heavy.
Feels as if there's a big big stone inside my head.
Feverish.

My back lacks support.
Feels like i am spineless.
Back sores.

I need to study, i need to do my homework, i need to solve problems, i need to talk to people, i need energy to play, i need to PUSH MYSELF.

Everyday is a happy day despite its shagness :)
Because of the company of good friends in an environment i feel confortable in.
Sooooooooo, i look forward to everyday of school with such happiness.
When i focus on the happiness, my physical discomfort seem so small :)

Yet, there's something in me that longs for some words of encouragement from any sincere person.

Are you really interested?

Sometimes i get the feeling that i mean so little to some people as a friend. Maybe there are really more important things in your life. Perhaps?

I want to talk.
You said you will listen.
Then when i want to talk.
You want to do something else.
I said it's okay then.
Then you told me you thought i wanted to tell you something.
???
In the end, i really don't feel like talking anymore.

I believe everybody experienced this in some way or another? Well at least you know you are not the only one feeling in such a way.
Mann, okay.

At the end of the day, at the depths of the earth, i still know that i mean alot to Jesus and Jesus definitely means alot to me :)

Hey, I think I've met you before!

Hahaha yesterday i made a new friend again! She's two years younger than me, and when i introduced myself, i knew that she was not shy to strangers.
Then i sensed that she kept looking at me somehow. I don't know. Just felt that she was staring at me, even as i am talking to some others.
Yes then suddenly, she said that she think she saw me somewhere before. On a bus or something.
But then the funny thing is, she can't remember what bus was it, where and when it took place. Then i burst out laughing because it's either i have another look-a-like or the world is seriously quite small. And wow she has wonderful memory of recognizing people she came across with :)

Haha okay my point is, such a small world we live in!
Isn't it true that the friends we have are somehow friends of another friend you know! It's like everybody is connected to each other in some way.
Hah! This reminds me of Globalisation.
Ok right, anyway, i think making friends really widens your social circle and also your networks to the rest of the world!

So, try to let down your hair once in awhile and go out there to make a new friend!

Believe me, you are helping me by allowing me to carry your burdens.

Wow today i am reminded once again that great talent without faith has no impact.
Faith is a sacrifice.
So with great talent, yet without making any sacrifices, there's no difference between you and mediocrity. You will just stay ordinary, because in other words, you are not using your talent to the fullest.

If a friend who is feeling down calls you up and needs somebody to talk to, if you can put aside whatever you are doing, no matter how busy you are, how inconvenient it is, well that is sacrifice.
I guess sacrifice really makes a person more tolerant and more sensitive to the needs of people.

I really really want to embrace a lifestyle of sacrifice! And it doesn't mean it will be a torture or anything. It just means giving time and effort, even if it means to suffer, i believe it's still a worthy and honourable act of servanthood.

Ok, i really feel i need to learn to manage my time more wisely.
It's so easy to get distracted and lose focus, that's human nature huh. But i think if you got your goals all set, your self-motivating factor constantly by your side, truthfully, gearing up will not be a problem.
So, let's work together to fulfill our goals, whether it's a shared goal or a personal one, because i know nobody likes regrets :)

CHEMISTRY TEST ON MONDAY.
ALL THE WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

Be strong and take heart, and wait for the Lord.

HAHA rachel and i have been calling michelle 'weirdo' and 'freak' for i-don't-know-what reason. hahaha mann michelle is really quite annoyingly hilarious at times.
it's not a bad thing mich! (if you are reading this) It entertains people :)

this week had been one of the most exhausting week since 2010 started.. perhaps it's just the pretty strenuous PE.
Maybe i'm just unfit, or maybe because of another reason, I feel much weaker than last year. Now, just a few sets of execises, and i get really tired already.
But i did do regular workouts during the holidays so...Sigh, probably signs of aging.

Recently, i can't sleep because of the pain in the back. So if you see me with eyebags or puffy eyes or whatever, it's not that i am deprived of sleep, it's because i can't get to sleep with all the discomfort.
People tell me sleeping is the best way to stop thinking of your troubles, but now i can't even get to sleep.
but then again, with all these problematic issues in my life, i shall stop asking God why do i have so many problems, what did i do to deserve such burdens, instead i have found the purpose for everything. By no means to weaken me, but to strengthen me.

I am in a sudden mood to write songs again!
I think it's good to express yourself in different ways :)

I shall rejoice for every blessing and hardship! Nothing is impossible!

I am really blessed with such wonderful friends!

When things can't get any better, i look at these lovely faces and it'll remind me how i held on so hard in the first place. Why would i even try to give in? :)

Thank God I have made my most important decision! I do hope it's a wise one :)
I have decided to walk the narrow way, the more inconvenient way, the harder way out, faithfully!

Thank you to all who encouraged me in one way or another! Every word you listened and speak will be kept close to heart... :D

selfless sacrifices are worth because we live to love.

I have to make an extremely important decision very soon.
And this probably the main reason why i'm stressing out these days.
Oh God.
Really hope this will come to pass soon :)

It occurred to me lately that love really do transcends all boundaries!
The feeling of caring for the ones you love, helping them when a need arises and loving them despite of our differences is really a great great feeling.
Even occasional how are yous are simple gestures of your concern for somebody.
I think it's really not that difficult to be nice :)
It's just a matter of choosing to be others-centered or self-centered person.

Have been praying for three good friends of mine in particular again and again. For breakthroughs in their health and studies.
I believe my prayers are answered :)

Putting heart into the things I do, that's when i see hope, i keep faith, and i feel love.

I really see HOPE in chemistry!
so glad for this tuition! regardless of the inconvenience. It's the WILL like what mr chong said :)

My schedule is really so tight and busy, besides studies and schoolwork, there's still council stuff, choir events, church, family time, friends, tuition, important frequent phone calls, time to catch up with friends, make time to meet people's needs, heal their hurts and just to give a smile, and thankfully, just a tiny bit of time for myself to relax.
None of the above shall be neglected.

I guess that's my life for now :)

Just when you think giving up is the only way out, but you still made it through.

My heart broke for a friend today.

Oh God, i lift her up into your loving hands. Heal her heart.

No such thing as endless storms.

On saturday, i experienced something i always believed in but never actually witness or experience before.
Giving kindness and kindness given back to you.

I was on my way home on the train and found an empty seat.
A crippled and haggard old man walked in, supposedly finding a seat.
So, the only right thing to do is to give up my seat for him.
He sincerely said thank you to me.
I smiled.
Then, at cityhall, many passengers alighted so there were many available seats.
And he shouted out to me that there are seats over there and continuously pointed at all the empty seats.
He wanted me to have a seat :)
Wow, we are merely strangers.
And there is this old and haggard man, kindly informing me that there are seats or say, inviting me to take a seat on any of the available seats.
I was really grateful and touched.

Oh man, just when i was just doing what is common sensically right to give up your seat to those who need it more, with no condition whatsoever, the very thing i know is that the kindness is given back to me.
I am truly blessed by this experience!
Now, no longer do i believe, but i know that when you give, it will be given back to you.
The first step is still to give yeah :)

J2 life is starting to heat up but still, equally enjoyable.
I am starting to like maths once again because of our new teacher, who teaches well enough for me to understand and learn something after the lesson.
I am trying to love chemistry even more as i do my consistent revision.
I am still trying to focus more on physics and not take it for granted that it's manageable. The truth is, physics will be tough unless you grasp the concepts well.
And I never stopped loving economics!!!

I'm really trusting God for breakthroughs!
whether if storms rise in the process, the glory at the end of the storm is always a clear sky once again, sometimes even rainbows appear :)

Right, so i've just received last minute news that i've got to go back to school tomorrow for a briefing for the info session that JJ is organsing on saturday.
Ahh and guess what, i'm selected to help out at the IDP booth..
and i highly suspect it's because i joined Project SMILE and so i can be more informative during the info session (???)

anyway, i do hope my time spent for the briefings and the actual event will be worthwhile. Because i have seriously more important things to do.
in any case, i still believe that opportunities are disguised as small tasks, and also in inconveniences. So, even though this event may be inconvenient for me, but who knows, something great might happen.

yesterday all the councillors had to go for a meeting with the new principal. Everybody was kinda anticipating what kind of person she'll be, like whether she'll be as scary as what the rumours describe her to be. Fortunately no.
I like her!
She seems very concerned for the welfare of the students and she kept asking for feedback and improvements that can be made with JJ's resources, facilities etc.
She speaks well and remained composed throughout the entire meeting.
yup, so i believe she'll lead the college well la :)

later on, hannqian and i went to meet emelia and shihan for lunch and study. It was soooo nice to see emelia after such a long time! hahaha and we managed to catch up a little.
went to the library to study thereafter. Shared and exchanged good music too :)
i loveeee music! it can really make me extremely happy!!!

yeah! and later in the night, i talked to michelle on the phone about random stuff and hot breaking news that i know..haha and msn chat with rachel too!

wow i feel so contented.

ahgong just got discharged! i'm glad he's able to go home now :) thank God.

Today i went back to school for chem consultation which was really a wasted trip.
Met up with shihan for breakfast at the hawker nearby and i was really glad i got to catch up with her :D seems like i'm not the only one out of the house most of the time!
Ms Elvina arranged to meet me at 11am but apparently, she had some meeting and she only came to us at 1230pm...
though i did do corrections for my worksheets and all, but still, i thought it was a session whereby i can ask her questions, i mean at least something more productive. but...well, i guess she has her reasons.
but on a happy note, i got to chitchat with shihan :)
shared music and talked about random stuff, stuff about our class...and how much we miss 09S15, like really alot!!!

oh man, i'd better stop thinking that i have very little homework, either that or i have alot of time to spare.
tests, work, tests, work, Alevels!!!
okay, once in awhile, i have to scare myself like that, at least to ensure i know that time waits for no man, especially lazy man.

sigh, i don't want to be lazy really. just that i really have alot of things to handle and think about.
sometimes i feel that my mind is so so so very much occupied that by any chance i see a math question, it irks me.
haha okay,
...
...
(just got self-motivated somehow)

yay :) i feel more determined now.

Anyway, i feel like shouting out that i love my sister alot alot alot!
i don't know, i feel touched by the simple things she does for me, and even the time she will occasionally come to my room to talk to me, to play the guitar and sing some songs for me and most of the time, we'll end up singing lots of songs together!

i like the way we harmonise when we sing songs together. i like the way she plays the guitar with so much enthusiasm. i like the treats she buys for me. i like it when she tells me what's going on in her life. i like the way when she scolds me for not eating a meal. i like the way she throws a tantrum when i (sorta) disturb her. i like it when she's there for me when i know i can't tell my parents about certain things. i like it when she recommends nice songs to me. i like it when she is so friendly towards my friends.

i like my sister for many things, but i love her with all of my heart because i know she is not by any coincidence my sister, my blood sister, my caring and loving yet sometimes annoying sister.

for those who have a sibling, sometimes you might feel so annoyed or even hurt by your kin, and you might even say things like 'i don't need you' or 'i'd rather not have you because i'm better of alone as a single child', but the truth is, one day you'll still come back to the arms of your sister or brother. It's just a special thing in the blood...kinship :)

So if you are guilty of constantly quarelling with your sibling (like now, yes i am talking about you), i'm sure when you guys look back at the immaturity you once had when you're older, it's then you start treasuring. Better to start early!

PS: I was talking about myself too ;)

I watched Bodyguards&Assassins a few days ago with ting and teen. Surprisingly, a good show(:
Quite a depressing show actually. With all the good people sacrificing their lives so as to protect 400million other people. True heroes!

My 1st January 2010 didn't start well, or rather, it didn't start as good as i expected.
Ahgong got admitted to the hospital due to a bad fall on his head. Thank God his condition is stable now, however with stitches on his wound and occasional blurness..
my heart aches for him...

A friend of mine called me just now and she told me that she wants to update me about her life. thought it was quite funny that she wanted to 'update me'.
occasionally i thank God for such people! man, they actually took the initiative to call me to update me about their life and share how they have been lately and all!

Faiqa is leaving for Malaysia tomorrow permanently ):
as saddened as i am by that fact, i really pray hard that she will live well over there..
i'll remember you!

:)

Rejoice!

Every year i make resolutions, so there's no exception for 2010.
I like making resolutions because i want something to look forward to improve and acheive every year. It makes a new year really a new beginning :)

Jo's new year resolutions:

1. Able to serve my family in more ways and foster stronger bonds with dad, mum and sister
2. Lend a helping hand and listening ear to anybody at anytime
3. Discipline, patience and positivity in my studies
4. Healing for my physical health
5. Touch more lives and mend more hurts

And faithfully, i will lead my life well.
I am officially in J2! oh my, things will get pretty serious this year. No slacking, but striving!

Once again, i've got to get used to writing '2010' instead of '2009' when writing the dates on my schoolwork..
sometimes, it really tests how much i'm able to let go of 2009.

Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air.

-1 Corinthians 8:26-