Stillness versus Impermanence

I was sitting at the bus stop by myself waiting for the bus, at a mood which was that of neutrality, with maybe a little degree of suspicion about the frequency of the arrival of the bus as stated on the chart. (I waited for 30 minutes for a less than 5 minute bus ride.)
I was then, thinking about the stillness of life and how Change is my friend.
Without Change, there is nothing to look forward to, it seems. No room for improvement. No growth. Then again, with Change, it brings about new concepts and ideologies of many issues, both the liberal and the controversial.
And since positivity and negativity do exist, Change do have an healthy impact on our lives but sometimes unfortunately, Change kills, so to speak.
On hind sight, all these imperfections of impermanence are reasons why people are afraid of Change. Most of us prefer to stay in our personal comfort zones without having to think about the complexities of Change and the little advantages or drawbacks that come along with it.

If the bus did arrive before 30 minutes, I believe I would not have came to such a fine conclusion for all these questioning bubbles popping out every now and then.
People think because they want to GET REAL.
(We should not be self-illusionists.)

This vexatious back condition of mine is getting out of hand. I am saying loving words to him (I presume it's a He) so that he will hurt me less.
Thank you for your prayers.

I am running into Your arms...

We accept people the way they are without approving their lifestyles.

Being sure and certain that Love is the reason.

Every now and then as I begin to see things in a different light, I find it extremely helpful as new perspectives are gained. I see the little things that may be insignificant but very much valuable.
The people around me, are undeniably the people who have influenced me in one way or another. Be it their habits, or lifestyles, or even certain characteristic behaviors. Mostly their beliefs, I feel.
Even as I try to discern right from wrong, I am aware of the mistakes I made along the way. Thoughts like I could have handled this better, or I could have tried to stop that from happening, crash through my mind each time I committed a mistake. And I do try to learn from it.
All my imperfections are pushing me down but my optimism just keeps pulling me up.
I am really thankful for all that is given to me and with all I have, I always try to do what I can to bless people around me.
Each time I feel that there's a limit to what I can do, I stop to listen.
Everything I can offer I give you.

Green man. Go.

Young men shall see visions.
Old men shall dream dreams.

Who's that knocking on the door of my heart again?

I have been receiving a number of encouraging messages from people I least expect. Truly there are lovely people around me who constantly give me hope!
Not to mention my greatest parents who are always so concerned for me.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Do not worry if I am become less positive, because I encourage myself even when no one is there in time to cheer me up. I perfectly understand the busyness of everyone's life so I move on, by myself. I just need time so do not judge me if you don't know what I am going through. (Every second of my life.)
I greatly appreciate your love! (I know who truly loves me.)
I am a blessed girl.
Then again, Jesus is more than enough for me (:

I am running a Marathon. With many other runners. Some going way too fast ahead. Some running with me. Some a little slower but still not giving up. I will make it to the finish line. Because I am a runner. A motivated one.
Runners never stop running. They live up to their name.

It is not a manicured pathway I am setting off for... I know it's difficult.

You know when you were young, innocent, delicate and simple-minded, it doesn't really matter if someone broke your heart, or if someone insulted your intelligence, all that mattered was somebody taking away your favourite toy, or Mom not allowing you to watch TV because it's past bedtime.
So, being ignored was really okay for a kid. But now that we reach adulthood, being ignored is one serious issue it seems. As maturity grows, everything seem to matter alot. Your feelings, your needs, your wants. Everything. So much so that people get desperate and really, just less innocent.
I think every once in awhile, adults should reflect on the fragility and simplicity of being a kid. How we were once kids and how beautiful we were in the arms of our parents.

Right now, I am able to cope with my current life. The responsibilities and commitments on my part - the role of being a daughter, sister and friend. Not that I am worrying about the future because I trust God wholeheartedly, I feel that I should lead an exciting, humble and righteous life.

Young or old, Big or small, we all dream dreams.

We are running out of everything, it seems, and so we worry. But worrying does nothing, it doesn't work.

Receiving results for our Common Tests this week gave me a funny feeling. Not the (HAHAHA) feeling. But a strange one. It made me realise how badly I wanted to do well for my Alevels. And how it seemingly motivated me to press on towards my goals.
I am, thankfully, unalarmed of the results I got because I kind of expected and knew the outcome that I will have to deal with. But as much as I remain unaffected, a big part of me know that I could have done better. So, I will sieve out all my common mistakes and grasp the concepts that I didn't handle well and I will and I will, do better for Prelims! (I am quite excited!)

Today, Rachel told me something that she wrote in her diary (secondary school days), "I will love animals, regardless of whether they are ugly."
Haha I thought that this was pretty hilarious but as simplified as it is, it makes a lot of sense and it is something what a true activist for the wildlife will say!
The world needs more young people to speak with such conviction on how they can contribute or play a part in making this planet a more beautiful home to live in.
They just need some encouragement and assurance that the little things they are doing now (Such as reducing the use of plastic bags etc), are that of worth and value.
So personally, besides being an activist for the environment, I urge everybody to join hands to MAKE A CHANGE.

I am independent. But I am not mutually exclusive.
(Math joke but pretty much applicable)

Spending a day out with people I don't usually hang out often with was a pleasure for me!

My perspective of many things broadened today and I am just relieved that it was not too late to realise the importance and redundance of certain things.
I am shivering because I am cold and tired.
But I am happy.

Senseless writer.

Sometimes it's not about that, it's really about this.
I may not be saying the most logical thing now, but I know I am clear-minded.
I love it when someone knows what I want to say without me saying explicitly. I feel so understood.
I am starting to move on. Thinking that maybe I belong to a better place...somehow.
God has probably seen all that I've gone through and thought that perhaps, I have been tested enough. (Or not) I probably would have done all I could to be of a good friend and stranger to people I meet. It was my best.
Sometimes, I think I am done here. But as I begin to think of...my life, I say maybe not, because I just want to stay.
I have a big purpose here. I just need some motivation.
My emotions are justified, and very much stirred up by affairs that I feel something for.

I am rejoicing! Common tests are officially over!

Went to catch Eclipse with the girls after our last paper and it was pretty awesome, and sort of met my expectations for it! I thought that it was quite exciting with all the action scenes and occasionally, a little of romantic humour (or not) especially in conversations between Edward and Jacob.

Now that the exam period has tided down, I think I should not get into a playing mood or complacent attitude. I feel that consistency is important for the type of studying style I am getting myself into.

Planet Earth is amazing. The graphics, the skills, the precision, the angles, the timing, the movements, the settings, the volume, the emotions, the entire film is just pure genius! One day, I will watch all the episodes and admire the nature of our beautiful beautiful Planet Earth.

There's just nothing to be missed.