I didn't intend to write a poem, especially on a night when you know you have a Chemistry test the next day. But when a thought and feeling comes together, even as a person who doesn't really fancy much of poetry or the abstract, possibilities do exist. So here goes a little humble poem of mine, specially thought and written for my loved ones. Be blessed!

Distance Is How Far Your Heart Sees

Everybody say life is like a game

The start and the end is all the same

But I choose to think otherwise

That the end is just a mere disguise

Of the beginning that we step forth

Not an edge but a path that we set off

Thank you Lord for Your amazing Love

Everlasting, unconditional and all that's worth

My family, my friends and oh, people so dear

You are precious, to me, can you hear?

May you find strength to brave through every storm

For you know heartaches are meant to transform

The person in you that makes you whole

So beautiful, so delightful and perfectly bold.

- Jolyn Khoo -

I am blessed.

These are awesome people who gave me so many unforgettable memories in JJ!

29th Bikila House Council

Choir'09/10
Best class to have, 09S15

Counting all the joy and summing them up all, they weigh much much heavier than the tribulations!

Strong mind over weak body.

Have you ever felt so determined to help someone before? And you will go all the way just to see the person through the run. And yes, I am talking in literal.

Today, Odelia ran her 2.4km. And it was an honour to be able to run with her all the way. I knew she needed alot of encouragement and support for her to push herself on. She had one goal, and that is to pass the run. I was extremely determined to fulfill that wish of hers and by no means of consideration, I hesitated no more. I started planning for her pacing, noting down the way she runs and how she can improve. I had one goal, and that is to see her pass the run.

She ran, she kept running, and never stopped to walk. I was so encouraged by the spirit and attitude she carried throughout the run.

Yet, it wasn't her day. She didn't pass the run by a mere 8 seconds. As terrible as she felt after the run, knowing that she had to re-run again, I was feeling equally terrible. I thought, hey maybe I didn't do enough. As much as I tried to push her, I didn't want to force her. Then again, it's pointless to brood over it because I strongly believe she will succeed in her next run and I will be there again, to run with her.

When I was running, in my heart, I was hoping that somebody will know that I am doing my very best. I really didn't want to let anybody down, and I don't want to let myself down by not doing my best to help.

Today's incident reminded me of a couple of years ago back in my Secondary school days, I ran 2.4km with my friend, Esther as well. It was exactly the same picture. I was doing the talking throughout the run, just with an additional boost of Esther's favourite band music to keep her motivated (as she claims). Then I thought, wow I am doing it again. And I am thankful for such events in my life.

Sometimes I wonder, why do I push myself so hard, why do I run when my legs are giving way, why do I run when my back hurts badly, just why. And I guess, Love really do makes people go the distance to make someone happy. I love people, that's why I do seemingly silly things. But of course, I will nevertheless take good care of myself because I want to have the strength to take care of others. So, trust me, I really know my limits, but they don't make me limited :)

Silence speaks louder than words

On this fateful night, I realised that I like long bus night rides. Plugged in with some beautiful music and looking out beyond the tainted window panes of the bus, the night life is sure captivating if you happen to dip into the sensational atmoshpere of calmness and solitude. And the truth is, solitude is not all that bad. In fact, it's good to be by and with yourself only because that's when personal reflection seeps into the emotional realm. And that's when, we receive revelations and realisations.

Every dream, every person, every experience, every day is a gift from God.

If we don't release our disappointments, hurts and pains every now and then, we will find that we lead a miserable and unhappy life. So we must learn the power of forgiveness! And that's something I feel a need to practise in my life and am still learning as I go.

So tell yourself today, I want to be a more forgiving person.

I am stepping down from council very soon. And today, I've stepped down from Choir. The feeling is sad naturally. Just when our choir got a new and amazing conductor, we have to step down. Just when I thought I could really bond with my choir mates, it's going to be difficult to actually gather together again. Council Divestiture will be up this Wednesday and somehow, there's greater relief rather than sadness. Though I will really miss the times when we worked so hard for school projects and events, had morning breakfasts together, stayed up late in school just to get things done which was tremendously exhausting, yet now that the juniors are stepping up to take our places as councillors, I feel that it's in fact a very honourable ceremony whereby we get appreciated for our contributions and fruits of labour. Thank God for such memorable experiences from my two CCAs in college. Now that school commitments have lessen, it would mean greater focus on what's important to every JC student - Alevels.

I really anticipate what is going to happen after Alevels and where I would be heading in my next phase in life. Thoughts like that excite me, but it also induces fear. Because when you get too comfortable in your current life, you just don't want to grow up.

However, we are still constantly reminded that we got to, ought to and have to. Two words, MOVE ON.

Trust me

A full armour consists of a helmet, a breastplate, a sword and a shield. If I'd choose, I would choose to be the shield. I'll do the defence! And since you will have to face your own problems since it's your own life, you'll be the one attacking with the sword.

C'mon we can do this together!

I am having a really tight schedule for this week and I am hoping I'll be able to keep up as much as I can so that unfruitfulness wouldn't be a problem.

The words of Live High by Jason Mraz have been stuck in my mind for the whole day today.

Hmm..Live High, Live Mighty, Live Righteously...takin' it easy.

Should anyone’s reaction or response sway my efforts - then I am too attached to the results and not committed enough to the possibility.

I didn't understand this when I first read this off an amazing person's blog. Then i read again and again, and i finally understood. Please take some time to understand it because I feel that this is true and really important to build good commitments in terms of your work and relationships.

In my way of applying the above statement, it works like this.

I am committed to being a daughter. I will not be attached to my mum's nags or my dad's rants. I am committed to being a daughter.

I am committed to being a student. I will not be attached to breaking school rules or not studying for exams. I am committed to being a student.

I am committed to being a friend. I will not be attached to you ignoring me when you are having a bad day. I am committed to being a friend.

Have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right...

Imagine Me Without You by Jaci Velaquez is the song choice for Semi-finals :)
Beautiful song with powerful words. I am so excited to practise this song with the blending and only with the music accompaniment!

But why am I getting the flu bug now... :(

When it's difficult to love someone, can we please just accept the person? The person feeling so unloved must have gotten it bad enough, why push her into a greater misery of feeling unaccepted...It's just not right.

I'm saddened by the fact that some people laugh and tease and judge someone else's imperfections. I mean, God's creations are fair. He won't make you better by making me worse off. If He gives you a specific talent, I believe He has given me a gift too. And with our different God-given gifts and talents, no one can boast. Because you may have some excellent attribute or talent that seemingly puts you higher than another person, but hey, that person may have something equally great that is inside of him that he can shine as well.

Awesome feeling when the results were out today! Our group made it to the semi-finals for Talentime! :) And things are getting more competitive now because all the other vocal groups are really strong! Well, just glad that our efforts for the auditions paid off. All glory to God!

Ok, but today, receiving physics test results was demoralizing. Though i wasn't in a good condition to study for this test at that time, I guess i'm still quite disappointed because i think it's not a good excuse not to study. I need to buck up. Yet, some of my friends tell me i am already pushing myself too hard. Of course i do feel i'm more hardworking this year compared to last year, but it's different because J2's workload is naturally heavier and there is a much higher sense of urgency since Alevels are nearing, so I must work even harder on top of my other commitments! Yes, keep going!

My weekends are forever so packed, and i don't know if it's a good thing, but i know definitely the time i spent are not to waste. Now that choir practices are on saturdays, together with church in the evening, i am seriously out the entire day from morning to late at night. And yay! I am going for SC carnival tomorrow! Will get to see many ex-graduates there too :) Pretty excited!

So my day tomorrow will be filled with activities, meaning Sunday is a good day (less busy) to catch up with work and do as much revision as i can. So thank God that weekends are made out of two days and not just one :) Sometimes, we are just thankful for such things in life.

Yesterday, we had a GP essay test and i wrote on the question, How important are dreams? And a long train of thoughts just came crashing through my mind. I really had many thoughts and feelings towards this question and it really came knocking at the door of my heart because i never actually thought about this question before! Hopefully i can do well :) And guess what, rachel did the same question too! Wow, i believe it tugged her heart too when she saw that question. Haha and we went on reading each other's essays to learn from each other. Pretty similar points but different ways of explanation, so it was a good read and an enjoyable GP test i have taken thus far!

People are moving on, and time never stops ticking, so by convention, we should keep pace with time :)

Tomorrow is going to be a breakthrough day and I'm real excited to see what is in store for me after tomorrow!

Friends,
All the best for 2.4km run!
All the best for Econs test!

Giving you my thumbs up whenever you need :)

Your love is higher, higher than the heaven. Your mercies deeper, deeper than the earth. Your grace is wider, wider than the ocean.

Easter service in church yesterday was awesome awesome awesome!!! The original drama production by CHC, "Lifebook" was exciting, touching and simply humorous! The epic LADY GAGA was significant. I really can't get enough of CHC's drama productions! Really one of the kind and not that i am being biased, but they are the best i have seen! And the thing is, the drama ministry consists of volunteers, not full-time professionals. And sure enough, they received a great roaring applause that they truly deserve! Every year, it just gets better :)

Now, I can't wait for Christmas! But of course, Easter isn't all about the dramas, the bunnies, the eggs and what not, the reason for this season is Jesus! And as we began to rejoice and take joy in His amazing love, i got reminded of how living in my own ways bring me down, but living in Jesus' ways keep me going. I was certainly very happy that Flo was able to join me in this time of celebration and i was so touched when i saw her crying. Wow, she was greatly touched. And i was greatly thankful. Went to the airport for dinner and i was just too awed by her openness towards me, very grateful for her trust in me. Nobody in this world including me can understand what she has been through and what she is going through now, and i'm just so heartened by the fact that she is still hanging on, just for one very honest reason, her love for her family. It's amazing! And in many ways, she told me that we are pretty similar in terms of the things we experience and our outlooks in life! Just so extremely thankful that when she almost thought that nobody cared and understood, she saw me as someone different from the rest. This really humbles me alot because i know that being there for somebody is not just physical, but emotional and always keeping them in your prayers. I'm believing with every one of you that if people like Flo is able to say "I want to live on" despite facing extreme storms in her life, we are definitely able to treasure our lives and loved ones no matter how tough things go, because you know what, there are people out there who are worse off than you but are still living and loving. In fact, your comfortable life is a proof of how much more you can give your comfort away to those who just yearn for love :)

Oh yes, I went out with some SC friends yesterday for lunch as well and we ate at Shokudo :) Enjoyed the company as usual and really do hope that more of them will join us the next time we meet which will be at SC carnival on 10th April!

Today's choir practice in the morning was again, very fruitful, very enjoyable, very overwhelming in fact! This could really be what i've always dreamed of, people unleashing their potential! I have a strong feeling in my heart that our choir is really climbing higher. And of course, Mr Lim played a huge role in making this possible! He is one amazing conductor, teacher and friend! I am overwhelmed because of how we are able to learn two songs every session and both are sung so beautifully as a choir! I know that we are not the best and we may not even have reached a well-enough standard, but we stayed united and looked as if we really wanted to be the best! And that's the spirit behind every success isn't it? :)

Dad and mum prepared dinner today and i feel so loved eating the food they cooked. Dad cooked fried rice after such a long time and i am proud that my dad can cook! And there were chicken wings and cream of mushroom corn soup. And pearl just came home with a cheesecake from spinelli as usual, though i was really full but i still ate it anyway. I really appreciate. My family.

I have one problem now. And i am just praying that things will work out! I really don't want to miss the opportunity. And somehow, i realised that when i am excited and ready for something big in my life, another important thing will happen on that same day and time and i will be stuck in my decisions. Whether if i have to forgo any, or can i actually do something to keep both. I am keeping my fingers cross!

P.S: Ting, just so you know, you remind me of an egg. Go think about it and tell me why you remind of an egg! Think deep okay :)

P.S.S: Flo, i want you to know that strong girls cry, but after the tears, they get stronger. Strong girls break down, but after the fall, they emerge stronger. Strong girls get negative sometimes, but it's not because they are giving up, it's because they are trying to let go. Strong girls need help sometimes, and after that help, they help others. Strong girls smile most of time, and it's genuine because there's no reason to engage in self-pity. Strong girls encourage and love unconditionally even when they don't feel too good themselves, because that's when their hearts grow up. You are a strong girl! Take care!

You work in Amazing ways!

HAPPY EASTER TO EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD!

Have a great time with your family and friends!

A broken heart that the world forgot

It's past midnight now, and here i am having the sudden urge to blog.

Talentime auditions are really around the corner, hmm it's in less than a week's time! Jingru had been pretty uptight about it and i know that it's because she really wants to perform to our best! And this uptightness is equally present in Suyi and I as well. From the beats to the blending, all of which we really strive to practice harder. That's one challenge of being in a acapella vocal group :) Yet, it's still something worth trying for an unforgettable experience i believe.

Angel & Mortal is a game i enjoy playing since primary school and it's really a good game to build closer bonds among one another. However, this is provided if everybody are willing to participate actively in it or not. Whether people value their relationships with the people around them more than they value their personal comfort and convenience... What a choice huh.

I almost got into a accident yesterday. The bus i was taking home after tuition was travelling a fast speed since there's less traffic at 10plus at night, and it nearly crashed into a taxi, but fortunately, the bus driver managed to jam-brack just in time to save lives. Every passenger in the bus got flung all the way to the front! And thankfully, i just knocked my head on the seat in front of me, because i was so afraid that that could just be the end. Thank god, my parents could have just lost a daughter, my sister could have just lost a sister and my friends could have just lost a friend.