I have a great feeling that my Sunday today will be a productive one. Now that mum and dad attended the parents' info session in school yesterday, they seem equally or even more excited for the upcoming Alevels than me! Excited is perhaps not the right word... hm, anxious. Yes, anxious.
So, mum is probably doing what she deems fit in my academics now. And me, giving her free reign as much as possible, knowing that i will benefit from all these deprivation of relaxation. Yet, of course there are certain limits to what she can do for me. All of which is up to me!
Singing makes me happy :) Because the choice of songs i sing expresses everything i've got to say and sometimes, it even indirectly reveals feelings that i try not to let it out! It doesn't really matter if you have a good voice right, after all, it's just the matter of having the confidence and courage to sing out, and not caring so much about how others think :)
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Friday, March 26, 2010
Come what may
I am learning new guitar strumming patterns! Excited to learn more from the handy youtube and my sister :)
This week had been horrible, not that i am being negative or anything, but honestly, it was pretty horrible. But i shall not go into the details because it's nothing worth remembering, but of course there are lessons that i have learnt throughout this horrible week that are definitely worth remembering for life.
One happy note was that i've come to know more about my inner self. The things i can do and the things that i can achieve if i keep believing. Nothing is impossible, really. It's just a matter of putting in the sincere effort to do it or not.
My friends are really very kind to me and i cannot help but to feel so touched and thankful for everything, even the puny little things they have done or simply the thought. Which really counts alot :) I am extremely grateful for the support and every single one of you means alot alot to me!
My parents and sister too, have been really concerned over my life recently and i know that really, my family are people whom i will never ever want to lose and i will do anything to keep them safe. Me being the youngest somehow gives me more power to protect daddy, mummy and sister with all i am. Filial piety is a virtue i respect the most above all other virtues.
Meeting up with secondary school friends yesterday was such a blessing! Besides the celebration of Esther's and Jemaine's birthday, we also got to catch up and soak in the warmth of one another's company! These dear old friends are just so precious to me and i do hope that we will remain so close in many many years to come! Like they say, make new friends and keep old ones.
I am so glad this horrible school week will come to pass, and tomorrow will be a brighter and happier day, claiming by faith! I'd pray that though suffering is tiring and painful, i'll still stay faithful, positive and to always find strength in every struggle. And i have to stop thinking that no one knows or understands.
Because i know. Surely someone understands.
I just got to believe.
This week had been horrible, not that i am being negative or anything, but honestly, it was pretty horrible. But i shall not go into the details because it's nothing worth remembering, but of course there are lessons that i have learnt throughout this horrible week that are definitely worth remembering for life.
One happy note was that i've come to know more about my inner self. The things i can do and the things that i can achieve if i keep believing. Nothing is impossible, really. It's just a matter of putting in the sincere effort to do it or not.
My friends are really very kind to me and i cannot help but to feel so touched and thankful for everything, even the puny little things they have done or simply the thought. Which really counts alot :) I am extremely grateful for the support and every single one of you means alot alot to me!
My parents and sister too, have been really concerned over my life recently and i know that really, my family are people whom i will never ever want to lose and i will do anything to keep them safe. Me being the youngest somehow gives me more power to protect daddy, mummy and sister with all i am. Filial piety is a virtue i respect the most above all other virtues.
Meeting up with secondary school friends yesterday was such a blessing! Besides the celebration of Esther's and Jemaine's birthday, we also got to catch up and soak in the warmth of one another's company! These dear old friends are just so precious to me and i do hope that we will remain so close in many many years to come! Like they say, make new friends and keep old ones.
I am so glad this horrible school week will come to pass, and tomorrow will be a brighter and happier day, claiming by faith! I'd pray that though suffering is tiring and painful, i'll still stay faithful, positive and to always find strength in every struggle. And i have to stop thinking that no one knows or understands.
Because i know. Surely someone understands.
I just got to believe.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Never deprive people of the best we can offer.
Even as I await a brand new day, I want to embrace this very day, the last day of the one-week break. Because after today, life is going to get more challenging I believe!
Friday, March 19, 2010
All that glitters are not gold.
Wow, i am glad to say that my one-week break had been pretty productive thus far! Haven't been lazing around, thinking that it's the holidays so rest more, work less...in fact, i've been catching up as much as i can. Haha yet, this is nothing to be exceptionally proud of, because it's something i ought to do as a JC student, not something i have a choice in escaping from.
I have created a JJChoir blog (website, rather) under Mr Darius Lim's command. So, it's up and ready to excite more readers i hope!
http://www.jjchoir.wordpress.com/
By any chance or free time, do pop by this blog i've put my heart and sweat in. Now, i realised that blogs are not easy to create, especially if it is not a personal individual blog and you have to start from scratch. Plus, there will be strangers reading it! So, that's additional pressure to make the blog as interesting as possible :)
Oh yes, chem tuition crash course on energetics this morning. 8am. Yes that's right, it was that early. Meaning, i had an early wake up call, travelled to diary farm on a sleepy friday, caught my bus on time and had my eyes closed for 20 minutes on the rather bumpy journey which is commonly known as 'Bus sick'. The crash course really came crashing on my memory of what i have learnt last year which left me clearly uncertain. So, the 4-hour lesson came in pretty useful and definitely not to waste.
Today, i fought against conveniences and helped a friend of mine even though i was extremely exhausted and the favour she asked was really very inconvenient. But thank God i still decided to do it because i love her and love makes people go the distance!
Ok, i am really doing my best in everything now. I am thankful for friends who know my heart, and for close friends who know what i am thinking and how i am feeling without me expressing anything. People who care are truly God's blessings :)
And people who aren't very nice, it's okay, i will continue praying for them. Till one day, i find myself telling them hey, that's a kind thing to do or hey, that's so sweet, that's when i know my prayers are answered.
P.S: I'll be joining two talentimes this year! One inside and one outside of school! Thank god for opportunities :)
P.S.S: Please get well soon mich, of your cough, rach, of your flu and hq, of your diarrohea!
I have created a JJChoir blog (website, rather) under Mr Darius Lim's command. So, it's up and ready to excite more readers i hope!
http://www.jjchoir.wordpress.com/
By any chance or free time, do pop by this blog i've put my heart and sweat in. Now, i realised that blogs are not easy to create, especially if it is not a personal individual blog and you have to start from scratch. Plus, there will be strangers reading it! So, that's additional pressure to make the blog as interesting as possible :)
Oh yes, chem tuition crash course on energetics this morning. 8am. Yes that's right, it was that early. Meaning, i had an early wake up call, travelled to diary farm on a sleepy friday, caught my bus on time and had my eyes closed for 20 minutes on the rather bumpy journey which is commonly known as 'Bus sick'. The crash course really came crashing on my memory of what i have learnt last year which left me clearly uncertain. So, the 4-hour lesson came in pretty useful and definitely not to waste.
Today, i fought against conveniences and helped a friend of mine even though i was extremely exhausted and the favour she asked was really very inconvenient. But thank God i still decided to do it because i love her and love makes people go the distance!
Ok, i am really doing my best in everything now. I am thankful for friends who know my heart, and for close friends who know what i am thinking and how i am feeling without me expressing anything. People who care are truly God's blessings :)
And people who aren't very nice, it's okay, i will continue praying for them. Till one day, i find myself telling them hey, that's a kind thing to do or hey, that's so sweet, that's when i know my prayers are answered.
P.S: I'll be joining two talentimes this year! One inside and one outside of school! Thank god for opportunities :)
P.S.S: Please get well soon mich, of your cough, rach, of your flu and hq, of your diarrohea!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
To be transformed means to be unstuck
I am listening to great music right now, earpieces stuffed up my ears. The weather outside is surprisingly the best i can get, cool breeze with occassional raindrops. My study table which happens to be beside the window, gives the freshest air and the perfect lighting to read something off my table entitled "H2 Mathematics Book 4".
Sometimes, i really wish i have more of such time for myself, when i don't have to get involved with worldly things, but simply have some time in my comfort. Yet, this is not i've been called to do i believe. So, i question myself if i have what it takes to be someone greater, someone stronger, and what if my chances are already gone, will i still fight on to get them...
Sometimes, i really wish i have more of such time for myself, when i don't have to get involved with worldly things, but simply have some time in my comfort. Yet, this is not i've been called to do i believe. So, i question myself if i have what it takes to be someone greater, someone stronger, and what if my chances are already gone, will i still fight on to get them...
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Never lose heart in the things you believe in.
These few days i've been doing my best to be someone better :) I have finally learned the art of sacrifice in my doing!
Life is going to be different (in a greater way) from now on!
My one-week school holiday is going to be a time well-spent, productive and enjoyable one! Time well-spent with my family and friends, productive in my school work and revision and enjoying every single thing i do :) I claim all these by faith!
Oh my goodness, yesterday's sushi buffet was very yummy at those first few bites of seaweed, rice and all that little things, due to pure hunger, but we became extremely filled up after that and walking became a seeming slight problem for us. Haha but we had fun talking and seeing one another's eating habits and all. Emelia, michelle, hannqian and shihan, i really enjoyed spending time together!
Since it's the start of this short break, I'd like to encourage all of you that even if you seem to lose touch with time, time is still ticking away no matter what you think or how you feel, time will not wait, it will just move on, it will not turn or look back to help you out if you've fallen, but you can never lose touch of your heart, because if you do, that's when you are merely existing, not living. Therefore, i have a strong urge to be frank that if nothing goes right for you, maybe your heart is tugging you, saying, "Don't give up on me."
My heart tells me that i will get well, and that i have to get well because there are more people that i need to reach out to. I am getting real excited!
Life is going to be different (in a greater way) from now on!
My one-week school holiday is going to be a time well-spent, productive and enjoyable one! Time well-spent with my family and friends, productive in my school work and revision and enjoying every single thing i do :) I claim all these by faith!
Oh my goodness, yesterday's sushi buffet was very yummy at those first few bites of seaweed, rice and all that little things, due to pure hunger, but we became extremely filled up after that and walking became a seeming slight problem for us. Haha but we had fun talking and seeing one another's eating habits and all. Emelia, michelle, hannqian and shihan, i really enjoyed spending time together!
Since it's the start of this short break, I'd like to encourage all of you that even if you seem to lose touch with time, time is still ticking away no matter what you think or how you feel, time will not wait, it will just move on, it will not turn or look back to help you out if you've fallen, but you can never lose touch of your heart, because if you do, that's when you are merely existing, not living. Therefore, i have a strong urge to be frank that if nothing goes right for you, maybe your heart is tugging you, saying, "Don't give up on me."
My heart tells me that i will get well, and that i have to get well because there are more people that i need to reach out to. I am getting real excited!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
When you feel tired but you're still caring, giving and smiling, it shows alot about you :)
Random thoughts:
Recently, i've received a number of accusations. For things that i've done that i've no idea i committed or something that i deserve to be told. I've already learnt from my mistake and tried not to repeat it, but there's just something wrong, i'm still getting the fault. I am getting used to all these little rants. Yes, it's my fault, just blame it on me all you want.
Everyone is telling me, "Don't be stressed!" and i do take comfort in such words of concern :) Yet, it's really not easy for me. Because i do have other issues apart from school that i've to juggle with. And if i'm enjoying whatever i'm doing, be glad for me :) It's just the deprivation of rest that i'm concerned with. So, thank god the march holidays are here!
Most of the people around me this week are a little cranky, moody or stressed perhaps. The atmosphere is clearly very still, and there wasn't much laughter that i thought could help me de-stress.
Recently, i helped a friend brainstrorm on solutions to her friendship problem with someone. Such problems can only come from one source, misunderstanding. And the thing is, i used my personal experience as an advice to her :) I hope things are improving between them now.
I am starting to believe that i am given and entrusted with so many things to handle because i have the capacity to do it. That's what mavis told me :)
And the word to describe the process is being "stretched". Like a rubberband, but over-stretching will risk the rubberband to break, so sometimes, it's okay to feel tired and slow down. As long as we don't stop!
Recently, i've received a number of accusations. For things that i've done that i've no idea i committed or something that i deserve to be told. I've already learnt from my mistake and tried not to repeat it, but there's just something wrong, i'm still getting the fault. I am getting used to all these little rants. Yes, it's my fault, just blame it on me all you want.
Everyone is telling me, "Don't be stressed!" and i do take comfort in such words of concern :) Yet, it's really not easy for me. Because i do have other issues apart from school that i've to juggle with. And if i'm enjoying whatever i'm doing, be glad for me :) It's just the deprivation of rest that i'm concerned with. So, thank god the march holidays are here!
Most of the people around me this week are a little cranky, moody or stressed perhaps. The atmosphere is clearly very still, and there wasn't much laughter that i thought could help me de-stress.
Recently, i helped a friend brainstrorm on solutions to her friendship problem with someone. Such problems can only come from one source, misunderstanding. And the thing is, i used my personal experience as an advice to her :) I hope things are improving between them now.
I am starting to believe that i am given and entrusted with so many things to handle because i have the capacity to do it. That's what mavis told me :)
And the word to describe the process is being "stretched". Like a rubberband, but over-stretching will risk the rubberband to break, so sometimes, it's okay to feel tired and slow down. As long as we don't stop!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Triumph!
1.5km, 800m finals, good run, great fight!
That's to commemorate the events I took part for my last sports meet of my education life (most likely) which I feel is worth celebrating the sweat, tears and joy :)
All glory to God!
That's to commemorate the events I took part for my last sports meet of my education life (most likely) which I feel is worth celebrating the sweat, tears and joy :)
All glory to God!
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Scars are stonger for life.
Chemistry lecture test on monday, jiayou!
I am still thinking if i should run 800m. My heart says yes, my mind says okay, but my legs says no. I really want to do my part to bring glory to bikila, yet i get the feeling i will regret if i run. Either way i will regret actually.
It's a nice feeling when a old friend of yours talks to you one day and tells you that she still remembers the way you were, the impact you brought into her life and the words you said that changed her. I may not be the best leader in my secondary school days, but i am glad my peer support and guides' juniors still remember the things i have done and the person i was :)
This motivates me once again, to continue doing what i'm doing and stepping out in faith even when the going gets tough!
Haha Jemaine, my blog is not emo! It contains reflections you see :) so there are happy and sad moments.
I am still thinking if i should run 800m. My heart says yes, my mind says okay, but my legs says no. I really want to do my part to bring glory to bikila, yet i get the feeling i will regret if i run. Either way i will regret actually.
It's a nice feeling when a old friend of yours talks to you one day and tells you that she still remembers the way you were, the impact you brought into her life and the words you said that changed her. I may not be the best leader in my secondary school days, but i am glad my peer support and guides' juniors still remember the things i have done and the person i was :)
This motivates me once again, to continue doing what i'm doing and stepping out in faith even when the going gets tough!
Haha Jemaine, my blog is not emo! It contains reflections you see :) so there are happy and sad moments.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Rivers of...
Sleeping is a need, and most of the time, a want, yet it's slowly becoming a chore to me.
Faith shines the brightest in the most trying of times!
I've got nothing to say today. Don't really feel like saying anything. But yet, somehow or rather, i ended up in blogger. So, i decided to post a post of nothingness. Ok, i don't make sense. Never mind, I am tired.
Thank god for everything and in everything. For the good and the bad. Nothing is going to bring me down! I will resist every temptation, every suffering, every heartache and every boundary.
I am working hard. Really hard. Using my time as wisely as i can, managing my schedule well enough to cope with the big and the little. I feel so stretched and i believe that's a good thing.
My sister is back home from her school trip! Missed her terribly. It felt different without her at home. Maybe i just got too used to the music she plays with the guitar, the songs we sing together every now and then, the chats we had when all seems grey... It's great to have a complete family. Pure blessing :)
Congratulations to you rachel! True enough, your best and your all came together as your glory and victory! Proud of you, buddy!
Thank god for everything and in everything. For the good and the bad. Nothing is going to bring me down! I will resist every temptation, every suffering, every heartache and every boundary.
I am working hard. Really hard. Using my time as wisely as i can, managing my schedule well enough to cope with the big and the little. I feel so stretched and i believe that's a good thing.
My sister is back home from her school trip! Missed her terribly. It felt different without her at home. Maybe i just got too used to the music she plays with the guitar, the songs we sing together every now and then, the chats we had when all seems grey... It's great to have a complete family. Pure blessing :)
Congratulations to you rachel! True enough, your best and your all came together as your glory and victory! Proud of you, buddy!
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Overwhelming mixed feelings today.
I am feeling so so so much for a friend of mine and i can't help but to think about it.
Her heart was aching, and there was nothing i could do but to break my heart for her. I really thank God for that moment i had with her, because i've learnt alot out of it. I really feel so humbled. No other words can express how greatly i am feeling after listening to her life story, a story i've never heard so true, so candid. I could almost read her story through her eyes! Wow, i feel so tired, so burdened for her. My heart is heavy.
Yet, all she needs now, is a good listening ear, and words of encouragement. So i'm most willing and will try my best to give :)
Most people around me are tired of being tired.
I am getting intolerant of people who complains about how life sucks when don't get the handphone that want, how school sucks when they fail a test, don't they know that there are more people who have a thousand more problems to take care of. How silly to get so bothered with stuff that ain't even life-threatening or heart-breaking so to speak.
Family issues, health issues, heavy commitments, a couple of problematic/depressed friends who need constant encouragement... and so on..
So don't they feel so small when they know their elephant problem is actually an ant problem to those with dinosaur problems?
Man, it's time to think about what you do to get out of your situation and stop sitting there and feel sorry for yourself. Get up dear friend!
I am feeling so so so much for a friend of mine and i can't help but to think about it.
Her heart was aching, and there was nothing i could do but to break my heart for her. I really thank God for that moment i had with her, because i've learnt alot out of it. I really feel so humbled. No other words can express how greatly i am feeling after listening to her life story, a story i've never heard so true, so candid. I could almost read her story through her eyes! Wow, i feel so tired, so burdened for her. My heart is heavy.
Yet, all she needs now, is a good listening ear, and words of encouragement. So i'm most willing and will try my best to give :)
Most people around me are tired of being tired.
I am getting intolerant of people who complains about how life sucks when don't get the handphone that want, how school sucks when they fail a test, don't they know that there are more people who have a thousand more problems to take care of. How silly to get so bothered with stuff that ain't even life-threatening or heart-breaking so to speak.
Family issues, health issues, heavy commitments, a couple of problematic/depressed friends who need constant encouragement... and so on..
So don't they feel so small when they know their elephant problem is actually an ant problem to those with dinosaur problems?
Man, it's time to think about what you do to get out of your situation and stop sitting there and feel sorry for yourself. Get up dear friend!
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